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Stream It Or Skip It: ‘The Jesus Rolls’ on Showtime, a ‘Big Lebowski’ Spinoff That’s a Dilly-Dallying Farce

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From the Sure, Why Not? Files comes The Jesus Rolls, a Big Lebowski spinoff/Going Places remake, now streaming via Showtime. John Turturro writes and directs, resurrecting his character Jesus Quintana, who you no doubt remember as the flamboyant shit-talking sex-offender bowling-league rival of the Dude, Walter and (STFU) Donny. You know, “You don’t f— with the Jesus,” and all that. Well, he’s back, the Jesus is, for his solo adventure, and if this is the official expansion of the Big Lebowski Cinematic Universe, let it be known that I’d love to script The Further Misadventures of the Nihilists.

The Gist: A prison. Spanish guitar. A man doing pull-ups. A zipper on a jumpsuit. The Jesus is free — but first, he chats with the warden, I dunno why, other than because he’s played by Christopher Walken. We flash back to the infamous “pederast” scene referred to in Lebowski, and learn his offense was more innocent than assumed, thus allowing us to maybe like him instead of loathe him. It had to be done, lest the entire movie exist on shaky ground.

So Jesus leaves prison and is picked up by his best pal Petey (Bobby Cannavale), setting in motion a series of arbitrary events that could only happen when two men very comfortable with petty crime follow no particular plot or plan. Getting a job or finding a place to live isn’t even mentioned, nor is what Petey was doing before all this. It just doesn’t matter. Jeopardy on a scale of featherweight to heavy-featherweight follows, and of course it’s studded with cameos from celeb cast members who seem like they dropped by the set to see friends and ended up with a bit part on a lark.

Jesus and Petey happen upon a muscle car and they jimmy the ignition and take it. A few joyrides later, they return it, and find its owner, a hairdresser played by Jon Hamm, none too pleased and brandishing a revolver. Stupidity then occurs, and Petey gets shot in the ass but they make off with Marie (Audrey Tautou), the hairdresser’s shampoo girl, prostitute and/or girlfriend maybe, who knows for sure, should we give an eff and does it really even matter? Doubtful. At first, the plot seems like it might be a revenge thing for Petey taking a bullet in the glute, but that would require some focus on the part of these characters, and then, it likely wouldn’t involve the Jesus’ mother played by Sonia Braga, an odd woman fresh from incarceration played by Susan Sarandon, or her son, also fresh from incarceration, played by Pete Davidson. It all adds up to something, or nothing, I’m not quite sure, but it’s definitely one of those things.

THE JESUS ROLLS MOVIE
Photo: Everett Collection

What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: Roger Ebert once called Blue in the Face a “footnote” of Smoke, more than a spinoff. The Jesus Rolls has a similar relationship to The Big Lebowski. It also makes a direct Amelie reference, because why else would you cast Tautou in a goof of a comedy film?

Performance Worth Watching: Tautou is charming as a character whose lone trait is that she’s never had an orgasm. Her cheery blankness is effervescent.

Memorable Dialogue: “WE’RE JUST TWO SIMPLE F—HEADS!” — the Jesus doth protest too much

Sex and Skin: Turturro and Cannavale’s butts, Tautou topless, some strong and strangely unsexy schtuppery.

Our Take: As the Dude abides, the Jesus rolls, and it really is true, he just rolls on no matter what happens or he makes happen, seemingly without a single lick of intent or forethought. It’s a carefree existence and that’s the whole point, which might make The Jesus Rolls hard to hang with, it being an utterly plotless farce of light robbery and casual coitus, no boundaries, no rules. Maybe not having a point actually is the point. “This is very… freewheeling,” I thought while watching the film, and before I knew it, an actual free wheel was rolling across the screen, liberated from its axle.

Notably, half the movie occurs before the Jesus tongues a bowling ball, because seeing the man do what he does best functions as a metaphor, and such money shots should be deployed sparingly. What the metaphor is for is beyond me, although I’m pretty sure there’s a metaphor there. At least I hope there is. There very well may not be one, but I will insist there is, because I want there to be one even if I’m not sure of it. Is this how religion works?

Anyhow, enjoy the Jesus’ finest moves again, and the ’60s-via-the-’90s sensibility, and the dilly-dallying and screwing-about that happens in this what-the-hell-is-Susan-Sarandon-doing-in-THIS-movie movie about two fellas (and sometimes a woman) who misfit their way through life and don’t seem to have any traditional sensibilities about feelings and laws, although they don’t want anyone to die. After all, they might represent little more than nothing, but they’re not nihilists.

Our Call: SKIP IT. The movie will definitely compel hardcore Lebowskites to watch it, and I understand that. But if something is anything less than a trifle, The Jesus Rolls is definitely it.

John Serba is a freelance writer and film critic based in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Read more of his work at johnserbaatlarge.com or follow him on Twitter: @johnserba.

Where to stream The Jesus Rolls

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Prison Break Season 6 is Happening, According to Series Star

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Prison Break may not be over at FOX. 


Dominic Purcell, who appeared on all five seasons of the show as Lincoln Burrows, has dropped a big hint that a sixth season is in the works. 


“Rumor number 1. I’m old. Yes,” said in a light-hearted post on Instagram, adding:


“I’m 50…..Rumor number 2. I’m bald. No I have a full head of hair; the people demand I shave it.”


“Rumor number 3, Will season pb 6 happen. Yes…,” he added, clearly teasing another season of the series. 

Brothers Unite - Prison Break Season 5 Episode 8


“Rumour number 4. Do I like humans? No. Not on mass. Definitely not.”


The actor has been open about wanting a sixth season for quite a while now, telling fans earlier this year that he was hearing about an October start. 


“I get smashed with ‘when is #prisonbreak 6 happening.’ What I can promise is this. We are all in agreement that if the story is worthy it will get made.”


“Now with the horror of this #virus the calamity of it all drills inside me a new focus a steely resolve with PRISON BREAK 6– I’m very optimistic with #socialdistancing and a fierce adherence to expert opinion on how to beat this catastrophic unprecedented event, we all as one will be victorious over #coronavirus – corporations such as #netflix are desperate for content,” said Purcell.

Lincoln Is Ready for a Fight - Prison Break


“The biggest gift all #artists #atheletes etc can give to you the people is entertainment so let’s get our f**kin lives back listen to the experts! I won’t comment on pb 6 until it is time. Be safe. Be smart. Be vigilant. Yours truly Dom.”


In a 2019 interview, Charlie Collier, Fox Entertainment’s CEO, said that the network had no plans for the show’s return, despite rumors that a sixth season was on the way.


“There’s no plan right now to revive Prison Break or any of the other franchises, but when the creators come with a story that they think is the right time to tell, we are so ready to listen because those are some franchises of which I’m so proud and feel so fortunate that they’re in our stable,” he said. 

Racing Through the Desert - Prison Break


The series returned to the air with a truncated fifth season in 2017 after being canceled in 2009. 


The revival was met with a tepid response and weak ratings, but the series is a hit internationally. 


We’ll keep you up to speed on if FOX confirms the news, or if it is moving to another destination. 


What do you think of the news?


Hit the comments. 

Paul Dailly is the Associate Editor for TV Fanatic. Follow him on Twitter.

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Outlander: What’s Taking So Long For Season 6?

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Outlander is one of the famous and most loved series of Starz. The series has been adapted from the books by writer Diana Gabaldon. Ronald D. Moore is the showrunner and leader maker of the drama series.

The series reveals the story of a nurse from 1945 who cleared back to 1743. It features entertainers like Caitriona Balfe as Claire Beauchamp Randall/Fraser and Sam Heughan as James “Jamie” MacKenzie Fraser. The series has broadcasted five seasons till now.

We are also getting the sixth season of the series. Fans are waiting for the new episodes of the series. Fans likewise need to know who is returning and what will occur in the new season.

Source: Parade

When Will It Going To Release

For now, we have to wait for the new season of the series. As of now, Covid brought about the postponement of the production of the new season. For the time being, it isn’t uncovered when the production will start for the sixth season. However, this deferral is likewise influencing the arrival of the new season.

What’s The Cast Details

• Caitriona Balfe as Claire Randall Fraser

• Richard Rankin as Roger Wakefield

• Sam Heughan as Jamie Fraser

• Sophie Skelton as Brianna Randall

We don’t know about the arrival of different stars, and we can see new faces in the up and coming period of Outlander.

Plot Details of The Series

The past season of Outlander finished on a cliffhanger and left fans with many questions. They have numerous inquiries in their minds, so they are curious to know what will happen next. So in the forthcoming season, we will see more about the journey of Claire Beauchamp Randall/Fraser. The story detail of the sixth run is kept as a secret, and the officials haven’t released anything about it.

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The Stranded: When is Season 2 Arriving on Netflix? Details Below

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rue des joueur The Stranded is a thriller, journey, horror-based Thai sequence. This present airs on Netflix and directed by Sophon Sakdaphisit. After season 1, which had an important impression on viewers, all followers are ready for the second season. The makers confirmed the renewal of the second season. The present is about 30 college students who’re caught in a mysterious island. Their Experiences on the island and the way they survive and face the challenges are all of the present about. Tell us way more details about season 2 of The Stranded.

Plot:

There isn’t a actual details about the plot of the upcoming season. There are numerous questions the best way season 1 ended, like what’s the thriller taking place on the island and the way the scholars survived. Additionally, how lengthy will they be trapped on the island? From season 2, we predict extra of adventures that the primary one. Season 1 did not deeply go on, gave the main points of the story, and left us with many unanswered questions. So all of them shall be getting a solution within the 2nd season.

Cast:

secret story live gratuit The primary characters casting within the present are as follows Papangkorn as Karam, Chayanit Chansangavej as Could, Chutavuth Pattarakhumphol as Anan, Sarunyu as Anan’s’s father, Sinjai Plengpanich as Professor Lin, Kittisak Patomburana as Ice, Chaleeda Gilbert as Arisa Anderson, and Oab Oabnithi as Joey.

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Release:

The primary season premiered in November 2019. However there is no such thing as a official launch date introduced but. Additionally, the trailer just isn’t out but. It will in all probability by the tip of 2020 or by the start of 2021 if there’s a delay within the work 356 bet.

For additional and exclusive updates, stay tuned with us http://maniacs.co.jp/nl-NL/rotterdam-parkhaus_01-05-2020.

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